Okay, I know this post is a bit late for Mother’s Day but I felt the title was perfect for the post. I’ve been stressing out the past month, especially these past two weeks. I ended up posting a small little tweet on Twitter because sometimes you need to do something right away to vent. I was not able to make this long post at the time so I tweeted. To those that have been asking why I have not been streaming on Twitch.Tv, playing on League of Legends, World of Warcraft, Guild Wars, and/or other games, this is why. Real life. I do play games once a week with my friends, Valinet & Aeonknight from the WoW Gold Titans for their Alt Tabbed Show every Sunday. Back to the post.
May 4th to 11th…
Two weeks ago on Saturday, my son woke up early in the morning with a fever. He was complaining about his knees hurting, and he would throw up from time to time. The fever went away by Monday but was still coughing. He was fine Tuesday to Thursday, but we kept him at home from school because you can tell he was still not one-hundred percent better. My son did go to school for a little bit on Wednesday, but that was for some testing by his school psychologist. After she was done testing him, we took him straight home. Thursday night, he woke up not being able to breathe. Once I got him to stop crying, he was able to breathe a bit easier and fall back to sleep. Friday morning, he woke up wheezing again. My husband and I ended up taking him to the doctor but by the time we got there, he was feeling a lot better. The doctor couldn’t find anything wrong with my son and just made her diagnosis as Allergies. Needless to say, I basically spent an entire week glued at my son’s side.
May 12th to Now…
Oh Mother’s Day. I did laundry and hanged out with my son. I wanted to do something but didn’t want to risk my son having another allergy attack, especially since he has school the next day. I did receive a small gift from a friend. Granted I was suppose to get it a couple of weeks ago, but I really liked the timing in which I received my gift: Defiance! To be honest, I’m a bit sad that I have this game. Since I got it, I haven’t had the time to play it but I will one day. Maybe this Sunday for the Alt Tabbed Show?
Wednesday…was horrible. My husband and I had a little meeting with my son’s psychologist to discuss his results. She has some concerns about next year, and even mentioned that she saw some characteristics of my son being autistic. I was a bit heart-broken by that. I really don’t know or believe my son is autistic, but I definitely see why his psychologist would be concerned. I try really hard not to cry when I’m volunteering in my son’s class, because I know he’s not like his classmates. I understand that every child is different but my son is going to be five years old on Monday, and he does not really speak to express himself. Most five year olds, you can have conversations with. Back and forth interaction along with eye contact sometimes. They say what is on their minds. My son…does not. My son just looks around and stares off into space. You can ask him a question and he would not answer you. I would put him into time-out, and he would just scream and cry forever. I cried that night. In fact, I’m pretty sure you might want to say that I bawled hysterically. I felt like an absolute failure as a parent that night; not because of “he has autism” but because of “what if he doesn’t have autism”.
The next couple of days were not so bad other than a lot of hard work with my son. I started working with my son right away on his eye contact. I made sure that every time I talked to him, he would look at me. Every time I asked him a question, I would not settle for a Yes or No answer because I wanted him to respond with a sentence. For example, when I would ask what color is the sky; I wanted to hear my son say “The sky is blue” instead of “blue”. Instead of eating wherever my son felt, I designated his table as the only place he can eat his food at. After he’s done with his plate or cup, he takes it to the sink and/or rinses it. He helps me make my coffee in the morning, as well as his meals during the day. My hubby and I changed his eating habits as well by limiting the amount of his already-limited sugar, and changing the times he eats. Overall, I was being more strict with rules, adding structure, changing his diet, and keeping him busy with every possible helpful thing he could do. Needless to say, I’m already seeing a change in my son’s speech and confidence. I do feel my son does need help such as speech therapy but at this point, I do not think he’s autistic anymore. I can actually call his name, and I get a “Yes Mama?” with a smile as well as his big brown eyes looking at me.
The next couple of months….
I’m sorry. I never thought I’d make this post so long, but I really needed to vent out. Monday (the 20th) – not only is my son’s 5th birthday, but also my first day starting at my externship site. If all goes well at this externship site for the next six weeks, I could be hired as a full-time employee. I’m really excited and hopeful about it, but part of me is freaking out about not getting the job. I basically have no job experience whatsoever, other than being a mother. Some of you may think “Oh, well you’ll get that working for the externship”. True? Yes, but I’m still not used to working on timed schedule. This job also requires you to not only pass a certification exam from a national organization, but also the company gives you a test prior to hiring. I’m a nervous wreck thinking about it but my biggest worry is my son. If I do get hired, I’ll be away from my son a lot more and I’m worried that he will regress. He has made tremendous progress the past couple of months, especially the past couple of days. My son starts kindergarten in the August, so my husband and I have made lots of plans for my son to get him ready. If all goes well, then he’ll be ready for kindergarten, and we won’t have to home-school him. **Crosses Fingers**